After several days of analysis authorities from North Pole Security and the Flight Command Center confirm that the only person who could possibly be checking Santa’s voice mail is Santa Claus himself.
The North Pole News Department revealed in a report the other day that Santa’s voice mail in his office was active.
“The odds clearly support the idea that Santa is checking his voice mail,” said Elf Agent X, at a press conference held today at Flight Command. “The North Pole phone system can only be accessed via a special encrypted protocol that, quite honestly, is engineered to match Santa’s DNA. So it can only be Santa or possibly someone holding him hostage.”
Mrs. Claus quickly spoke up to dismiss the idea that Santa could possibly fall victim to a kidnapper.
“Santa is too well loved and too well versed in self-defense tactics to allow himself to be taken hostage. Honestly, guys, if you want to get hold of Santa why don’t you just leave him a voice mail!” Mrs. Claus said with a smile.
Mrs. Claus has been skeptical of Santa’s “disappearance” from the beginning, reminding elves at the North Pole that Santa told them where he was going, that he would be out of touch for a while and that he would return.
Clearly Mrs. Claus feels the concerns for Santa are misplaced and that the “hunt for Santa” is premature.
The North Pole Security Department feels quite differently. Elf Agent X said they will continue to work to locate Santa and secure his safe transport home “at the appropriate time of his choosing”.
The news of this development at the North Pole has gone far to ease the fears of elves who in recent days have sought out creative solutions to attempt to locate Santa.
Elves have set aside vacation time to engage in the search for Santa, some have formed Ham radio communication groups and others have set up online networks of Santa seekers all over the world looking for Santa.
It remains to be seen if these efforts will continue.
Regardless of today’s news the truth remains that Santa has not even communicated with the North Pole since the 24th of July and nobody here, including Mrs. Claus, knows where he actually is.
The are only about 109 days left until Santa is supposed to launch from the North Pole.